My Dream College Doesn’t Exist, But UMass Does

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The Problem With My Perfect College

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In the car with my mom during one of our 17 college visits, I remember lamenting that I didn’t even want to go to college—when she asked me a question I hadn’t fully considered:

“Is there something else you want to do next year instead?”

I was scared and stressed throughout my whole college process. I thought I would never find the perfect school, which made me feel hopeless. I never had a 'dream' school. I felt like I didn't really want to go to any of the colleges I visited because they all had things I liked and things I didn’t.

I had just told my mom I didn’t want to go to college. But the alternative—getting a job straight out of high school, missing out on a year of track training—wasn’t the path I wanted to take either. I knew this was my choice to make, but I still felt stuck.

I wanted to find a school that balanced rigorous academics with an established D1 track program in an environment that would support me. This proved to be quite difficult, because many of the schools I looked at were either academic OR athletic powerhouses. I looked at plenty of small D3 colleges with amazing classes that weren’t very competitive athletically, and some D1 schools with great training programs but not the academic environment I hoped for. 

I also wanted a small, tight-knit community with personal classes, but that kind of crossover felt nearly impossible to find.

How I Stumbled on UMass Amherst

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I ended up at UMass almost by accident. I didn’t want to stay in Ohio for college, and my mom grew up in Massachusetts, so we visited a lot of New England schools. On one trip, we stayed with my aunt who worked at UMass. We didn't have an official tour, but she wanted to take me around campus. I thought this was a waste of time because I didn’t know anything about UMass, but I had nothing better to do between visits, so I agreed.

We walked into Boyden Gym and stopped the first person we saw to ask where the varsity weight room was. Interestingly enough, it turned out that he was the head track coach. We ended up having a whole impromptu 20-minute conversation, and it was refreshing to hear him speaking a language I understood. I was surprised but grateful he took the time out of his day to recruit an athlete he knew nothing about.

So I filed UMass away as an option, eventually returning for an admissions tour and an official visit with the track team. I didn’t think UMass was perfect, but it made me want to come back.

The Place Doesn't Make the People, The People Make the Place

After that fateful moment, it took time to solidify that this was the place I wanted to be. I almost committed to another school with beautiful track facilities, but I wasn’t crazy about its majority-White, preppy, high-pressure culture. As a queer person, I also wanted to know that my identity would not only be accepted but uplifted. 

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One of the coaches recruiting me said something that stuck with me: “You won’t be glad you picked the place with the shiniest facilities; you’ll be glad you picked the place with the people who made it feel like home.” During my third and official visit to UMass, I started to understand that.

I felt comfortable at UMass in a way I hadn’t at other schools. I distinctly remember that none of my track team hosts ever left me alone, always connecting me with another teammate before going about their day. At other schools, I spent a lot of time wandering around. At UMass, I was never left to fend for myself without someone to help me out. Even though the large campus was intimidating, the people helped make it feel familiar.

My Path to the Honors College

Initially, I wasn’t accepted to Commonwealth Honors College at UMass. I went to a Mastery Transcript Consortium school, so the admissions officers didn’t know how to interpret my nontraditional transcript. In my high school, we didn’t have grades or tests, and mostly worked in small groups on real-world problems. Therefore, I knew being in huge lectures would be a big adjustment, and I would thrive more in an environment with smaller classes and more opportunities for discussion. 

My parents pushed me to see if I could appeal this decision and secure a spot in the Honors College to get that smaller-school experience within the larger university. 

And sure enough, I got my application re-reviewed and was eventually accepted into Honors.

This experience helped me realize the importance of self-advocacy in the college process. If my parents hadn’t asked about appealing the decision, I wouldn’t have. But by heeding their advice, I was able to create a college experience closer to the one I dreamed of.

UMass: My Dream School…Or Not?

Now that I’m at UMass, I have a different perspective. I didn’t need to find the perfect school to enjoy my experience. In fact, it’s even better because I’m realistic about my expectations — I know UMass isn’t perfect, so I’m not as disappointed when things don’t go exactly as planned. By letting go of the idea of a “dream school,” I found my school. I spent years worrying I’d never find the perfect place, but it turns out I didn’t need to.

I learned in high school that the real world is more nuanced than exams. 

Choosing a college is not a test question. You can have multiple right answers, and none of them are perfect. Your dream college doesn’t exist, and that’s an opportunity, not an obstacle. 

So for any prospective students struggling to commit, I hope you take a chance on the college with the people who make it feel like home, even if it isn’t perfect.