“I’ll study and get my degree”: Reflections on my College Experience
By Samuel Cavalheiro
Content
I’m sure you’ve heard that saying, often repeated like a broken record. People always say to slow down and enjoy the moment, but my focus has always been elsewhere. When I came to UMass, I viewed college purely as a means to an end. “I’ll study and get my degree,” I naively told myself.
That’s what my parents sent me here for: to get a degree and, with it, a high-paying job. That’s the mindset of a first-gen student or the child of immigrants. College wasn’t about self-discovery or “finding myself.” It was about upward mobility. I was going to be the belle of the ball—the one who made it.
But, per usual, life had other plans. Yes, I took all the classes, studied for countless hours, and earned my degree. But somewhere along the way, it became so much more than that.
College transformed into a collection of memories, unexpected friendships, and lessons that had nothing to do with the syllabus.
I want to share some of my favorite stories and lessons from the “so much more.”
“Should we go in?”
Move-in day, freshman year. It was roughly 400 degrees outside, and the UV index seemed to have broken the chart. I felt nothing but the onset of heatstroke and an overwhelming need for air conditioning. Fortunately, CHC has incredible AC—so strong that I still use a blanket on hot days.
After an intimidating trip to Worcester Dining Commons (the only dining hall I knew how to get to), I said goodbye to my parents. They drove off, and just like that, I was alone for the first time. I set up my desk, arranged my tchotchkes and wall decorations, and made my bed. As I sat down on my freshly made bed, music suddenly blasted from our neighbor’s dorm. It caught my attention, but I was paralyzed by the fear of interacting with new people; I hesitated even to peek through the peephole.
“Should we go in?”
Their door was open, inviting visitors, but I still felt uneasy. Yet something came over me, and before I knew it, I was walking in with my roommate. In high school, I had been very reserved and never ventured outside my comfort zone. Call it COVID-induced isolation or a lack of self-confidence; whatever it was, that was my norm.
Once inside, we started some awkward small talk. The usual questions came: name, major, where are you from? But as we chatted about the struggles of moving in, the Kendrick Lamar album that had dropped a few months earlier, and our shared admiration for the greatest football player to ever grace the field, Tom Brady, I felt the ice slowly melt. These guys were just like me, scared stiff and desperately missing our mothers. There was an odd comfort in our shared fear, which later grew into a shared appreciation and, dare I say, a deep friendship.
That friendship has lasted throughout my time at UMass and is something I will cherish for the rest of my life. I’m proud to call them my friends and now, as I start graduate school here at UMass, my future roommates.
It all started because I stepped out of my comfort zone and took a chance. To incoming freshmen: go up to that guy wearing your favorite band’s tee or say hi to the girl with one too many houseplants. Chances are, they’re just waiting for someone to say hello. So, say hi!
Afternoon Naps
The Spanish have midday siestas, the French have two-hour lunch breaks, the Italians take riposo, the Greeks nap later in the afternoon during messimeri, and the Chinese have the traditional ‘noon sleep’. What do we have in America?
The midday rest is, in my opinion, the secret to success and joy. Since freshman year, I have scheduled one hour to eat lunch and one hour after lunch to rest. This has always been my number one priority when choosing classes. Sure, what classes you take are important, and yes, you should take something that interests you. However, I ask you, reader, have you ever chosen classes based on your nap schedule?
If not, I implore you to do so. To those who do not nap, why? You may say, “Sam, I don’t nap! I drink enough coffee to last a whole day!” Take a day, cut back on the caffeine, and take a nap around 1:30 (that is when I take mine). Compare how you feel after the nap and after the six cups of coffee, then thank me.
This section is wholly unimportant if you are looking for advice on how to make friends, how to navigate college life, or any of the other questions you may have for a graduating senior. Selfishly, some may say, I am writing this to advocate for more siestas, riposos, messimeris, or noon sleep. These 30-minute, euphoric slumbers on a twin XL bed powered me throughout my time at UMass and are the only reason I even had a chance to graduate.
A Few Kind Words to Freshman Year Sam
As I mentioned earlier, I was scared to begin college, as I’m sure many of us were. A new environment welcomed new fears into my brain. But as I reflect upon my time, here are some answers to the questions I had freshman year.
Is everyone feeling the same way I feel?
Yes. In the conversations I’ve had with friends and classmates, everyone comes into college with a certain timidity. It doesn't matter if your whole family has gone to college or if you're a first-gen student—this is your first time ever attending college. If it provides any comfort, using a communal bathroom will not get any less awkward; you learn how to deal.
Is it okay to feel lonely?
Yes. Loneliness is not permanent; it is merely a feeling. No one will bat an eye if you sit alone at a dining hall or spend a Friday night watching old mob movies. It is what you choose to do with that feeling that determines how you feel. Are you feeling lonely? Reach out to someone; they may be feeling the same way! It is all our first time living, so why shouldn’t we share this novel experience?
How do I meet friends?
Put yourself out there; you meet some of your closest friends doing this! Join a club, walk into that open dorm blasting the new Kendrick, or strike up a conversation with that stranger in your common room. I guarantee you will not make friends watching mob movies alone in your dorm—no matter how accessible Robert De Niro seems through the screen.
Should I have it all figured out?
Absolutely not. I’d even argue that having things “figured out” impedes different avenues of progress. I came into UMass wanting to go to law school afterward. Because I disregarded what I had supposedly figured out, I was able to take on brand new opportunities and things I would have never imagined I would ever do. Now, I have a minimal desire to go to law school but a much broader picture of myself and my goals.
Final Thoughts
Writing this reflection is a bittersweet exercise, marking one of the final memories of my undergraduate experience at UMass. Yet, as I look back, I wouldn’t change a single thing. I arrived with the singular goal of studying diligently to obtain a degree. While I certainly accomplished this, my college experience proved to be far richer and more meaningful. The journey was filled with unexpected detours, profound discoveries, new and cherished connections, and some peculiar nuggets of wisdom gained along the way. Thankfully, my time in Amherst is not fully over as I embark on a new chapter of my life.
I have gained not only a diploma but also a treasure trove of memories and a deeper understanding of myself, demonstrating that the most significant lessons are often found far outside the confines of the syllabus.
