Slipping Away
An alum reflects on rain checks
As a class of 1966 grad, I can attest to the fact that I’ve been around a long time. Being an oldster means many things, and my biggest gripe is that family members, friends, neighbors, high school classmates, college buddies, and acquaintances are dropping like bowling pins at a tournament.
My friend Ralph, class of ’65, retired, sold his house, and embarked on an RV lifestyle. On his third trip east, we finally made a date to meet at my house, but that day Ralph called, saying he had serious engine trouble. He ended with, “Gotta take a rain check, old buddy.”
A month later, Ralph died from a heart attack. Big Ralph, 6′6″, 270 pounds, former high school star tackle, now gone. I didn’t believe it! “Gotta take a rain check, old buddy” reverberated through my mind.
June, class of ’66, and her husband, Robert, class of ’64, stopped going out with my wife and me because of her “digestion troubles.” As we had been a foursome for years, I frankly wondered if she decided that we were no longer interesting company. It shocked us when Robert called, saying that June was being admitted to the hospital. Day after day, we were ready to visit, but the weather turned raw and cold, and we kept postponing. Before long, June died. Shocked doesn’t adequately describe my emotion.
When I found out that Frank, class of ’66, was in the hospital, I called, and he was his usual brassy, “take no prisoners” self. His illness was no big deal, I thought. Then the doctors diagnosed Hodgkin lymphoma and told his sons to think in terms of weeks, not months. I made plans to visit him the next day, but I was too late.
In all three deaths, I was too slow, too indecisive, too insecure, too late. I failed E. M. Forster’s dictum, “Only connect.” Even in the grip of death, especially in the grip of death, you stand by your friends. From now on, I will say no to every “Gotta take a rain check, old buddy.”
Howard Scott ’66 is a freelance writer from Pembroke, Massachusetts, who has written for The New York Times and The Boston Globe. He has authored five books, including Bee Lessons (2000), based on his 20 years as a beekeeper.
