Communication and Guidance During an Evolving Relationship

Communication and Guidance During an Evolving Relationship

"A hallmark of excellent mentorship is progressive change in the relationship." (from Johnson's On Being a Mentor)

As you move through the mentoring relationship with a student, the student should transition from being someone akin to an apprentice to being a colleague. As an advocate and guide for your student, consider these axes of development.

How you support your mentee's development changes as they progress through their program. Remember that no one person can have all the answers! Strong mentorship also means being aware of other resources and directing mentees to them when appropriate, and helping them to establish a team of mentors. You may know next to nothing about careers outside of academia, for example, but the Office of Professional Development offers many opportunities for your mentee to pick up relevant skills.

Early in your graduate student's program

Academic development. Professors are experts in their disciplines. It is easy for experts to forget what a beginning student might know. What assumptions are you making about a new student's background knowledge, both about the intellectual framework of the work as well as the mechanics involved in how to do the work?

Communication skills. Early-stage graduate students will be learning how to interact with people in their research group, other students in their program, faculty teaching their classes, and other faculty mentors. You can help by stressing the importance of creating a network of mentors, among both peers (at different stages) and faculty members, and helping students learn where to go with questions on different topics.

The Office of Professional Development and the Office of Inclusion and Engagement offer a variety of programs to help students develop networking skills, improve their writing and presentation skills, craft compelling funding applications, and build a mentoring network.

Leadership and professionalism. At this stage, students are most likely beginning to learn the norms of the discipline, and observe how others behave in leadership roles. You can help by explicitly discussing norms and pointing out leadership roles that they may be interested in assuming later on.

The middle period of your graduate student's program

Academic development. At this stage, the student has completed most of the initial requirements and is deep into their research. With the easing of externally imposed deadlines such as exams and course requirements, some students struggle to make steady progress. You can help your student define goals that are challenging but within reach.

Communication skills. At every stage, but especially at this period, you can intentionally help to demystify academia. This is especially appropriate for students who will be seeking an academic career, but it is helpful for any student to understand how a complex job works.

Leadership and professionalism. Recommend that your student complete an Individual Development Plan, or IDP, and update it regularly. First developed for STEM and later adapted to social sciences and the humanities, IDPs help students and postdocs set goals over the next 6-12 months that include research project goals, skill development goals, and career advancement goals based on self-assessment of their progress. For mentors, a good practice is to review with your mentee only the research project goals; sometimes students are reluctant to divulge professional aspirations and self- assessments that are addressed in other parts of the IDP. The IDP helps students see the big picture, focus their efforts, become empowered to actively direct their own planning, and become more productive. The Office of Professional Development offers workshops on completing an IDP.

Helping your student finish well

Academic development and communication: helping your students write. In mentoring training workshops, one of the most common frustrations we hear from advisors, regardless of discipline, is that many of their mentees encounter trouble with writing. In some disciplines, writing is parsed out over individual published manuscripts, which may be in more manageable chunks for the student. In others, the student writes one major piece of work, which can be especially daunting. In helping your students overcome writing issues, try the following:

Academic development and communication: helping your students communicate orally. Regardless of their career goals, all students will benefit from presenting their research to appreciative audiences.

Professional development. Realize that your student may be shifting their efforts to finding the next position, be it a postdoctoral position, an industry career, a teaching- intensive job, or some other path. Job searching takes time, but a student with a job to look forward to is a student that is motivated to finish their degree.

A note about relationship boundaries

Professors sometimes struggle with the appropriate tone of the relationship with their students: some prefer to be more formal, and some more friendly. Evidence suggests that some personal disclosure by the mentor can help in forming a productive mentoring relationship (e.g., sharing struggles with being a person of color in academia with a mentee of similar background). However, a mentor/mentee relationship cannot be a typical friendship because of the power dynamic. A student may feel obligated to participate in social activities with, or do favors for, a mentor that they would otherwise decline. In addition, socializing more with one student will likely be viewed as differential treatment by other students. Many UMass mentors also avoid befriending mentees on some social media platforms in order to separate professional and personal relationships.

At UMass Amherst, there is a bright line that you cannot cross: faculty are prohibited from entering into a sexual relationship with any student or postdoc for whom the faculty member has any responsibility for supervision, evaluation, grading, advising, employment, or other instructional or supervisory activity. If you find that a relationship is evolving into something romantic, you must immediately disclose the relationship to your supervisor and take steps to remove yourself from any of the above roles. Here is the policy in full.

Remember that as a faculty member, you always have the power in the relationship, which means you are the person responsible for maintaining appropriate boundaries.

If serious conflicts arise between you and your mentee

Some mentor/mentee relationships do not work as planned. Sometimes a student realizes that their research interests pull them in a different direction and part ways from a mentor with no ill will; in other cases, the relationship degrades and becomes painful. Researchers on mentorship label a relationship as dysfunctional if the primary needs of one or both partners are not being met, the long term costs for one or both partners outweigh the benefits, or one or both partners are suffering distress as a result of being in the relationship (from Johnson's On Being a Mentor, which offers a detailed analysis). Possible causes are nearly endless, including unrealistic expectations by either party, jealousy, taking undue credit for the other's ideas, or over-involvement in personal lives.

Steps to take include slowing down the process and not responding out of anger or anxiety to a problem; evaluating one's personal contributions to the problem; considering ethical and professional obligations to the mentee; or seeking consultation with a trusted colleague or the Ombuds Office. The Office of Workplace & Learning Development offers in-person and online training for employees on developing relevant skills. Develop a proactive and compassionate response to your mentee. Throughout, document your interactions.

Recommended practices at the program level

Successful graduate programs have the following characteristics:

Program characteristics shown to lead to poor mentoring relationships: 

Some program characteristics have been shown to be detrimental to student success (drawn from On Being a Mentor). These include:

Additional resources

The following book goes into extensive detail about how to mentor effectively, and has interesting case studies as well as concrete suggestions at both the individual and programmatic level.

Johnson, WB. 2016. On Being a Mentor: A Guide for Higher Education Faculty. Routledge, New York.

Seth Landman

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