Unrequired Neediness
I want comfort, hope,
intimacy, freedom, love.
I have distance, fear. 11/25/98
Close. Apart. Push. Pull.
Would freedom from fear mean we’d
stay or walk away. 12/1/98
Precious kittens purr
looking for attention, milk,
clean litter. I growl. 12/1/98
Hurt so deep I won’t
try again. I feel pulled but
push away, close tight. 12/6/98
I want what we have,
but also so much more. Do
I hope? Or settle? 12/7/98
Intimacy is
so slippery, hard to make
happen, hard to stop. 12/7/98
Unrequited lust.
of course you’re right, rational.
I ache anyway. 12/8/98
Prayers Only God Can Answer
Does my mind need to
rest? Body recuperate?
Why then don’t I sleep? 12/6/98
If I only work
with others’ words, what happens
to mine? Who’ll hear me? 12/6/98
Is playing with words
work? And is it important
enough to bring sleep? 12/6/98
If I believe in
process, how can I panic
at each bump in life? 12/7/98
Living in the Solution
I am love, genius,
joy, waiting to burst open,
leave fear far behind. 12/1/98
Writer at work. Hah!
They laugh, sneer, jeer, guffaw but
I keep on alone. 12/2/98
I pray for others.
All that I want for myself,
God please give to them. 12/4/98
Compassion for them.
Love for myself. It’s a brave
new world of hope, joy. 12/5/98
How do I value
another? Let them be them.
Open heart and learn. 12/6/98
I’m glad you’re my friend.
You let me be me while you
remain true to you. 12/6/98
I feel jealous but
try not to glare, pout, whine, sulk
or even tell him. 12/8/98
Raging Haikus
I started writing
haikus and now I can’t stop
even in dark night. 12/8/98
Would my therapist
like my haiku frenzy or
see new compulsion? 12/8/98
Does haiku frenzy
limit one’s reality
or open one’s soul? 12/8/98
Keep trying to sleep
between haikus. Mind racing
in pithy statements. 12/8/98
Thank you for haikus.
Big anger manageable
in short statements. 12/1/98
Write one haiku each
day, she said. Refused, and fought.
Surrender’s so sweet. 12/1/98