Stand Up: Helping Yourself and Others

If you are experiencing violence, bullying, harassment or hazing, there are a few things you can do in the moment:
  • Tell the person to stop in a calm, clear, firm voice.
  • Avoid escalating the situation. Don't threaten the person, yell or take steps toward physical violence.
  • If speaking up is too hard or possibly unsafe, walk away and stay away.
  • Avoid the person until you have taken other steps (like talking to an RA, RD, or Dean of Students staff member) to help prevent a reoccurrence.
If someone you know has experienced violence, bullying, harassment or hazing:
  • Talk to the person who has been mistreated. Express concern and care. Be gentle. Remember they may feel embarrassed, scared, or sensitive about the situation.
  • Let them know you care. It helps to remind them they are not alone. If they have been bullied, it can also help to point out all their great qualities to help rebuild their self-esteem. If you can, make a special effort to include the person in your group.
  • Listen to and believe what they tell you. Avoid criticizing, sounding judgmental, minimizing or blaming.
  • If they've experienced online bullying, encourage them to save all texts, emails and other digital communications as downloaded files and/or hard copies
  • Offer to make phone calls for them or accompany them to the Dean of Students Office or UMPD. Encourage the person to seek medical attention if needed. Offer to walk or drive them to University Health Services.

What’s Up With...

Hazing Can Be Subtle

Behaviors that emphasize a power imbalance between new members (rookies) and older members of a group or team are always hazing, even when subtle. Subtle hazing typically involves activities or attitudes that breach reasonable standards of mutual respect and subject new members to ridicule, embarrassment, and/or humiliation. People joining a group or team often feel they must endure subtle hazing to gain acceptance. All forms of hazing, including subtle acts, are prohibited by university policy.

Some examples of subtle hazing:

  • Deliberate deception;
  • Assigning demerits or other forms of punishment;
  • Enforced periods of silence with implied or explicit threats for violation;
  • Deprivation of privileges granted to other members;
  • Requiring new members to perform duties not assigned to others;
  • Socially isolating new members;
  • Line-ups and drills/tests;
  • Requiring members to memorize and recite meaningless information;
  • Name calling; using demeaning terms;
  • Requiring new members to refer to other members with titles (e.g. "Mr.,” "Sir,"  “Miss”);
  • Expecting certain items to always be in a new member's possession.
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