How to Set Boundaries

Boundaries are limits that you set with others, and they are essential to healthy relationships. Boundaries can be mental, physical, or emotional. Practicing the skill of setting boundaries with certain people, like close friends and family, can be tough. Here are some tips on setting boundaries, even when doing so feels like a challenge:

1. Think about and name your limits
   • Identify what you are willing to accept and what is off limits in your relationships.
2. Acknowledge and respect your emotions
   • Your emotions play a major role in figuring out your limits. Listen to them! Validate feelings of discomfort or stress.
3. Be direct and assertive
   • This is the hard part. You may worry about hurting someone’s feelings or making things awkward when setting boundaries. As long as the conversation is respectful and honest, however, a true friend or partner will understand and respect your boundaries. Try to communicate calmly and clearly.
4. Give yourself permission
   • Give your feelings and boundaries permission to be there
5. Practice self-awareness
   • Stay aware of how your boundaries are being respected by others and also how you are respecting others boundaries. If boundaries are violated, acknowledge that, and consider returning to the conversation another time.
6. Prioritize self-care
   • You can’t give to others unless you are feeling okay yourself. Self-care is crucial in maintaining a healthy life and healthy relationships. Boundaries are self-care.
7. Seek support
   • If you are struggling with boundaries, reach out for help from someone in your circle of support. You can also connect with counselors at the Center for Counseling and Psychological Health for help with setting your boundaries. 
8. Start small
   • Boundaries can be tough to set. Start small with a friend or family member you trust and see how setting your boundaries can transform your relationship.