The title of this blog post was the exact thought I had after my first full day here. I was exhausted, underfed, and overwhelmed. And I was entering a state of panic realizing that this was my life for the next four months.
While Antibes was undeniably beautiful, not a thing was familiar to me. The restaurant menus were in French, the electrical outlets were shaped differently, the streets were winding and hard to navigate. There was no phone service for me to pull up Google Maps or phone a friend, and, worst of all, every local around me seemed so relaxed.
I had vacationed in Europe before, but had never been on my own for longer than a few weeks. The reality that this was my life hit me hard.
I called my parents to tell them I didn't think I could do it. My mind raced a mile a minute, thinking of worst case scenarios: flying home early, running away, dropping out of the program, dropping out of UMass in general.
My mom gave me an amazing piece of advice: "You are exhausted right now. Sleep it off and remember your strengths and versatility."
I took some melatonin, which slowed my mind, and managed to get some rest. The next morning I woke up refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready to take on the French Riviera.
My point is this: when you're put in an unfamiliar situation, it's okay to have doubts and to freak out a little bit. You just have to remember how many meaningful and unforgettable experiences you will gain from the experience. Then just come out and keep pushing forward.