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University of Massachusetts Amherst

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Don't Squat with Your Spurs On: A Cowboy's Guide to Life

Crisis management principles:

  1. Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.
  2. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back.

Negotiation principle:

Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly.

Leadership:

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

Other Guidelines:

  • If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
  • Never ask a man the size of his spread. (and I don't recommend askin a lady the same question.)
  • After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
  • Never kick a fresh cow chip on a hot day.
  • There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.
  • Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew. Your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
  • If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
  • Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.
  • It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
  • Always drink upstream from the herd.
  • When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
  • When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.
  • Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's you might need to know what it was.
  • The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.
  • Never miss a good chance to shut up.

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